Quite honestly, sweating on purpose has always seemed more an unpleasant necessity than something I could ever enjoy.
BUT. Something has become clear to me over the past five years of fits and starts: There is a big difference between the working out months and the not working out months, fitting into the skinny jeans and not being able to zip up the fat jeans, and days with Hostess product attacks vs. days that I can't wait to get home and sauté some vegetables.
And that difference has everything to do with my moods. When I work out and eat well, they don't swing. When I live as a carbitarian, spend too much time on my behind, and put off the working out for next week, I'm more cranky than a mommyblogger who missed out on a free KitchenAid promotion. Cranky is bad. It leads to self-pity, zero writing, and isolation from all of my friends.
So I re-joined the gym I un-joined last year. Actually, I upgraded a little bit and I'm going to a fancier one. I've been convinced for a long time that fancy gyms were only for beautiful, fit, confident people who would automatically know that I was an imposter.
Like people working out at the gym actually care what anyone else is doing or wearing or listening to beyond whether or not that person is occupying the equipment that he or she wants to use.
And maybe I am an imposter. Or maybe I'm just a few months of pretending that I am fit and confident from actually becoming fit and confident.
So. Now that fall is here in full force and Minnesota winter is right around the corner, I'm going to use my new acting skills at my new gym. I'm going to act as if I belong there. I'm going to act as if I enjoy working out. And I'm going to enjoy not having moods that fluctuate from elation to depression to terror in miliseconds. I'm going to enjoy sleeping well, and not craving as much sugar. And I'm going to enjoy the writing space in my brain, as well as the stamina to keep up with all the other things I want to do.
And I'm going to act as if my thighs can look as awesome as Jane Fonda's. Nothing wrong with a little motivation.
5 comments:
There are faculty members at my school who refuse to join our Rec Center because "they are too many students" there. They feel self-conscious of being seen trying to exercise by their own students. My experience with that is that, whenever I run into students I know or teach at the gym, they say "hi" and then go on their merry way, and they do not pay one ounce of attention to how I am dressed and to what I do.
My daughter wrote a paper last year about one's use of space (as in "personal space"), and the notion of pleasure derived from going to a gym (I find that there is something a bit masochistic about exercising.)
I have now managed to "stick" to an exercise regimen for about 13 months, because I do what I know I can sustain - which is walking vigorously, roughly four miles a day. Some days, I now do 40 minutes on the elliptical trainer - something that, before, I could never do for more than 20 minutes. I still hate it, but I do it because I have read that doing a more strenuous workout routine twice a week or so is excellent for you.
I shed 25 pounds on the Weight Watchers diet and by maintaining this exercise routine, and have kept the weight off now since last May. I still constantly watch what I eat, but I let myself have a drink now and then, and I occasionally "cheat," especially when there is a special event. I have maintained a weight between 115 and 117 lbs, and would love to get to 110 (my initial WW goal, which I never reached), but I don't think that my body really wants to go there. I now fit in clothes that I had not work in three years before I went on the diet.
Congrats to you for having jumped, once more, on the fitness wagon. Try to stay on, but also try to find a way not to feel miserable while you are on it.
Yeah... intellectually I KNOW that I am a much happier person in every sense of the word when I'm exercising regularly. I sleep better, I make better food choices, and my head is a lot clearer. I've been struggling with this a ton lately because there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day, which is actually a horseshit lie, because that's just an excuse and the truth is that I've just been lazy and uninspired. But I saw a picture of myself yesterday that made me wnat to cry and took me back to a really bad place... so I am hopping back on the bandwagon with you.
Did you rejoin Lifetime, and if so at what membership level? I am a gold member but am considering an upgrade to Platinum because I used the eden prairie / crosstown location on my way home from work last week and it was great -- on the way home, not crowded, good parking, etc...
Good for you!
Gyms have never appealed much to me, but they're a good route for a lot of people.
Good luck! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
- Mitch, Daily Minneapolis Photographer
Voix,
Good for you! You're an awesome person always but uber nice when you're feeling good about yourself.
A little time exercising for a lot of feel good time; a great deal in my book!
rel
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